A wedding is a public commitment to stay together forever, so take time beforehand to prepare for your marriage.
Films and social media often create a false picture of what married life is like and sometimes newly-weds have unrealistic expectations.
Both parties need to work on maintaining a strong, balanced and happy relationship. It doesn’t happen just because you love each other.
I am amazed at how many couples get married without having agreed on fundamental issues, such as having children. How could you commit yourself to a life together without knowing, for example, that your partner doesn’t want to have children?
What is important in your marriage?
So, set aside time to discuss what is important to you.
Maybe the question of children is a good place to start. Do you both want to have children? If so, how many? Are you sure that you can afford to have children? How long do you think you should wait before you dispense with birth control? If you are having more than one child, how long do you think you should wait after the first one before you think about having a second child? Have you agreed on who is responsible for birth control? Will you both be involved in the day-to-day care of the child? Who will take care of the baby if both of you have to work?
Financial problems are said to be a frequent cause of divorce. Discuss how you are going to manage your finances, particularly if you are both earning an income. Are you each going to keep your own money? Can you agree on who pays for what? Are you going to manage money matters together or just leave it to one of you? Will you share a credit card? You will need to set very careful parameters on how this is going to work. Have you compared your spending habits? If you find that they are different, how can you prevent this from becoming a constant source of conflict? What are you going to do about having accounts at shops and other service providers?
Household duties are another cause of deep discontent. When both of you have jobs, how are you going to manage cooking, shopping, cleaning, laundry and gardening? Are you able to employ a domestic worker?
What about religion? Do you have the same beliefs and if not are you both comfortable with this state of affairs? If you follow different religions what religion will the children be brought up in?
And even political views can be a source of arguments. Married life has enough stress without your disagreeing about which political party you’ll vote for.
To some people music is hugely important. Do you share similar tastes? If you don’t are you willing to live and let live?
Communication
Communication is absolutely crucial to the success of any relationship. You need to share your expectations of the marriage and your dreams for your future together. One might want to save up to buy your first home, while the other would rather travel far and wide.
Ambition at work can be problematic. One might spend excessive hours working, in order to climb the promotion ladder. Sometimes a person feels that the partner is not ambitious enough.
So try to clear the air about all these points and then you can worry about bridesmaids’ dresses and what the guests will do while you’re having your wedding photos taken.
Wordways Ceremonies offers a variety of non-religious ceremonies, including weddings. Get in touch with Vanessa today to discuss your needs.