As a designated Marriage Officer in Gauteng, I’ve had the privilege of conducting many wedding ceremonies ~ from intimate legal signings with just two witnesses to elaborate full-length celebrations with a large number of guests. One of the most common questions couples ask me is: “Should we have a simple legal signing or a full-length ceremony?”
The truth is, there’s no right answer. But there are right questions to ask yourselves. Let’s consider them.
What Matters Most to You?
This is the foundation of your decision. Is it the legal commitment itself, the symbolic ritual, sharing the moment with loved ones, or honouring family traditions?
If it’s the commitment itself, a simple legal signing might feel most authentic. As a Marriage Officer, I can conduct a brief but meaningful ceremony at my residence or a location of your choice. The legal act becomes the ceremony ~ warm, honest, and deeply personal.
If sharing the moment matters, you’ll need to consider who should be present. Just a few close witnesses at a signing? Your immediate family? Or a larger gathering of everyone who’s been part of your journey?
If symbolism and ritual resonate with you, full-length ceremonies offer rich meaning through personalised vows, ring exchanges, readings, unity ceremonies, and cultural customs such as handfasting. These elements can transform a legal requirement into a spiritual and emotional milestone.
Who Should Witness Your Union?
The guest list often defines the ceremony type.
Just the two of you? An elopement or private signing with two witnesses can be incredibly intimate and authentic. I’ve conducted ceremonies where it’s just the couple, myself, and two witnesses ~ some of the most moving ceremonies I’ve witnessed have been these quiet, focused moments. You can always celebrate with others later if you wish.
Close family only? A small ceremony with 10-20 people balances intimacy with inclusion. This size allows for personal touches whilst keeping things manageable and meaningful.
Everyone important to you? A full-length ceremony accommodates larger gatherings. If you want extended family, friends, colleagues, and your community to celebrate with you, you’ll need the structure and venue that a full-length ceremony provides.
What’s Your Realistic Budget?
Let’s talk numbers, because money shapes possibilities.
Minimal spending? Obviously a short, simple legal signing ceremony in Gauteng would suit a very limited budget.
Moderate budget? With R50,000-150,000 you could have a small to medium ceremony with key elements: a beautiful venue, professional photography, flowers, a celebratory meal, and music. This is where you start making choices about what feels essential versus optional.
Larger budget? Large South African weddings can range from R150,000 to R500,000 or more for full-length celebrations. If budget isn’t your constraint, ask yourself: what would bring genuine joy versus what feels like obligation? Sometimes unlimited options make decisions harder.
What Are Your Core Values?
Your values should guide your choice.
Do you value simplicity and authenticity? These align beautifully with minimal ceremonies. I’ve seen couples who were initially nervous about a simple signing, worried about what others might think. But afterwards, they’ve told me it was the most authentic thing they’d ever done ~ no performance, no stress, just two people making a commitment.
Do you value tradition and heritage? Full-length ceremonies can preserve cultural practices. As a Marriage Officer, I am happy to incorporate elements from various traditions into ceremonies of any length. Which specific traditions feel meaningful versus obligatory to you?
Do you value personal expression? Here’s the secret: you can personalise either option. A legal signing can include heartfelt personal vows and meaningful readings. A full-length ceremony can break from convention entirely. What would feel most “you”?
How Much Stress Can You Handle?
Be honest with yourself about this one.
Full-length ceremonies require significant planning: securing venues (often 12-18 months in advance in Gauteng), co-ordinating caterers, managing guest lists, arranging décor, hiring photographers and videographers, dealing with invitations, and countless other details. It’s virtually a part-time job for several months.
Some modern couples “elope” in the form of a wedding experience that is focused entirely on them, free from the stress, high costs, and obligations of a large, traditional wedding. Simple signings need almost no preparation. We schedule a date, you bring your documents and two witnesses, and it’s done.
The middle ground? A simple ceremony with me as your Marriage Officer, followed by a casual gathering at a restaurant or family home. You get the legal requirement handled with dignity, then celebrate without the pressure of a full production.
What’s Your Vision of the Day?
Close your eyes and imagine your wedding day. What do you see? What feelings emerge?
Do you see quiet intimacy? Trust that vision. I’ve conducted ceremonies in gardens, at intimate restaurants, in couples’ homes, and in my own home. If you envision a quiet, private moment, honour that instinct.
Do you see joyful celebration? If you imagine dancing, speeches, being surrounded by loved ones, and creating a festival atmosphere, a full-length ceremony plus a reception might fulfil you. Which elements feel essential ~ the ceremony itself, the meal, the dancing, the speeches?
Do you see something in between? Many couples want elements of both. Perhaps a meaningful 20-30 minute ceremony with close family, followed by a lovely dinner? This is entirely possible and often deeply satisfying.
What About Family Expectations?
This is where many couples struggle, and I see it often in my practice.
Strong expectations? South African families often have firm ideas about weddings. Will going against expectations cause lasting tension? Can you find compromises? Perhaps a simple legal ceremony with me, followed by a cultural celebration or family lunch that honours specific traditions?
Supportive families? If your families genuinely support whatever you choose, you have real freedom. What do you want when external pressure is removed?
Mixed expectations? When families disagree, remember: this is your marriage. You might include elements that honour both sides whilst staying true to yourselves.
Time or Money – Which Is More Valuable?
Full-length ceremonies consume both resources.
Would you rather invest months of planning and tens of thousands of rands into one day, or save both for your future together? That money could fund a house deposit, travel, further education, or investments.
But here’s the counter-argument: you only marry once, hopefully! For some couples, marking this transition with a proper celebration is worth every rand and hour. There’s no wrong answer ~ only what’s right for you.
What Creates Lasting Memories?
Will you cherish professional photos and videos, or will the memory of the intimate moment be enough?
I’ve had couples who opted for simple signings without photography, and years later expressed no regrets ~ they remember exactly how they felt. I’ve had others who wished they’d at least had a photographer present, even for a simple ceremony.
Consider a middle ground: even if you choose a simple legal signing, invest in an hour with a good photographer. In Gauteng, you can find talented photographers who’ll document your ceremony beautifully for R3,000 – 8,000. You get the simplicity you want with lasting documentation.
Are You Someone Who Values Established Customs?
Your general approach to life might guide this decision.
Do you value established customs generally? If traditions usually matter to you, will a simple signing feel like you’ve missed something important? Or can you honour tradition in other ways ~ perhaps in your marriage itself rather than the wedding?
Are you typically non-conventional? If you regularly question conventions, a short legal ceremony aligns with your values. The key is being confident in your choice rather than worrying about others’ judgements.
It depends? You might value tradition in some areas and prefer modern approaches in others. For marriage specifically, what feels authentic to you both?
My Professional Perspective
This is what I’ve observed:
The couples who seem happiest afterwards are those who made a decision aligned with their values, not others’ expectations. I’ve conducted simple signings that were profoundly moving. On the other hand, most of us have attended elaborate ceremonies that felt hollow because the couple was performing for others rather than celebrating for themselves.
I’ve also noticed that regret often comes not from the choice itself, but from not thinking it through properly. Couples who rushed into a big wedding without considering the stress sometimes wish they’d gone simpler. Couples who signed quickly without marking the moment sometimes wish they’d had even a small celebration.
Questions to Ask Yourselves
Before making your decision, discuss these together:
- Five years from now, what will we remember and cherish about our wedding day?
- Are we making this choice because it’s what we want, or what we think others want?
- What’s our gut instinct when we imagine each option?
- What would we do with the money/time saved from a simpler ceremony?
- Which traditions or elements are truly meaningful to us versus performative?
- How will we feel explaining our choice to family and friends?
- What matters more: the day itself or what comes after?
The Beautiful Truth
Here’s what I’ve learnt: there’s no single “right” way to get married. I’ve conducted 10-minute signings that were perfect for the couple, and I’ve participated in day-long ceremonies that were equally perfect for others.
What matters is that your ceremony ~ whatever form it takes ~ reflects who you are as a couple. Whether I’m conducting a quick legal signing at my residence or a full-length ceremony at a beautiful Gauteng venue, my role is to help you create a moment that feels authentic and meaningful to you both.
How I Can Help
As a designated Marriage Officer in Gauteng, I can offer you flexibility.
The beauty of working with a Marriage Officer is that I can legally marry you in any of these formats you would like. You don’t need to go to a Home Affairs office for a simple ceremony, I can come to you. And you don’t need a religious official for a ceremony with more elements ~ I can conduct those too.
Making Your Decision
Take your time with this decision. Discuss it thoroughly with your partner. Consider your values, your budget, your families, and most importantly, what will make you both happiest.
And remember: the ceremony is one day. The marriage is a lifetime. Sometimes keeping the ceremony simple means you start that lifetime with less stress and more resources for your future together.
Whatever you decide, I’m here to help make your ceremony ~ simple or elaborate ~ a beautiful and legally binding celebration of your commitment.
If you’d like to discuss your options or book a ceremony, please feel free to contact me. I serve couples throughout Gauteng and would be honoured to be part of your special day, whatever form it takes.