Some people tell their families not to bother with having a funeral when they die, but most societies acknowledge the healing power of funerals.
Even people who do not follow a formal religion feel the need to honour significant milestones in life through some form of ritual. Funerals or ceremonies celebrating someone’s life meet many needs.
The elements of a healing funeral
Different aspects of a ceremony help to bring about the healing power of funerals.
Music
Music has a way of accessing our emotions in a very special way. It draws the listeners together in their grief. We choose music that was special to our loved one and so when we hear it, it heightens our memories of them.
While music sets the tone of the ceremony, it doesn’t have to be excessively depressing. There should be a balance of sad but also uplifting music.
Read Choosing Music for a Funeral for more on this.
Symbols
We use symbols such as candles, photos and flowers to enhance the healing power of funerals. They give the mourners something to focus on while they are dealing with their thoughts and emotions.
Words
Words are one of the most important aspects of a celebration of life ceremony.
We tell the story of the person’s life. We have readings that will highlight different aspects of their life and their relationships with others.
The eulogy reminds us of the kind of person they were. We acknowledge the value of the person’s life and achievements and the effect that they had on the lives of others.
We also share favourite memories of them.
The person may be gone but they are not forgotten.
Gathering
Coming together to pay our respects to the deceased is important. It is also valuable in showing support for the family and close friends. Here too are opportunities to share memories.
The healing power of funerals in accessing mourning
The ritual of funerals helps us to face up to our mourning and deep sense of loss. It helps in the following ways:
- In a funeral we acknowledge the reality of the death.
- The elements in the ceremony move us toward the pain of the loss.
- We know that we will continue the relationship with the person who died through memory.
- It is the start of our developing a new self-identity.
- Ceremony assists in our search for meaning.
- Coming together enables us to receive support from others.
Funerals bring comfort
When the mourners step outside after a funeral ceremony, they should feel better. They should feel strengthened for the journey of grieving which lies before them. The ritual brings about the beginning of a sense of peace and the possibility of release from pain.
Wordways Ceremonies offers uniquely personalised funerals, celebration of life ceremonies and ash scattering services. Contact Vanessa to discuss how she can help you in creating a ritual to take your leave of your loved one.