There are many funeral rituals which are deeply personal and very moving for the bereaved in remembering their departed loved one.
Write on stones
Wordways conducted a celebration of life ceremony for a woman who always said, “Just bury me under the roses!” At the ceremony the family brought a collection of smooth stones and felt-tipped pens. The bereaved wrote loving messages on the stones. The family bought a large garden tub and filled it with soil. They mixed her ashes into the soil. Then they planted a rose bush. They placed the stones around the base of the bush, to make a loving memorial.
Light candles as a funeral ritual
Another family had candles in glasses printed with a photo of the deceased and the family member and his nickname for them. They placed the candles around the beautiful wooden box containing his ashes. Towards the end of the ceremony they gathered at the table and each lit their candle. The funeral celebrant announced what the candle signified: his wife lit a candle for eternal love; his daughters lit a candle each for his honour, their grief, his peace and their strength. His grandchildren lit a candle for remembrance and for acceptance.
Give out packs of seeds
A lovely idea is to give out small packets of indigenous flower seeds. Each of the mourners will take them home and scatter them in a place of their choosing. When the blooms come up they will warmly remember their loved one. There are also handmade paper products available which are already seeded. People can write a message to the departed one and plant the paper – another movingly symbolic gesture.
Release doves, paper lanterns, balloons
Somewhat more controversial is the concept of releasing something as a funeral ritual. People have arranged for a handler to release doves. However, the person offering this service might not be using properly trained homing pigeons and the tame birds are then abandoned to their own devices in the wild. Releasing balloons or paper Chinese lanterns might be deeply symbolic for the mourners. But these items have been shown to be damaging to the environment in different ways. We do not encourage their use.
Decorate the coffin
Cardboard coffins are available in South Africa. The funeral celebrant can invite the people attending the ceremony to come up and decorate the coffin. They can make available coloured pencils and pens, photos, flowers and other natural materials or printed texts for the mourners to leave their personal message to the deceased.
Hat or other clothing on the coffin
Bereaved families sometimes choose to place a hat, a special item of clothing or an object on the coffin or on a table at the front. This could be a chef’s hat, or a scarf or a golf club or a medal, something which instantly draws memories of the deceased.
Colour theme as part of a funeral ritual
Often people have a favourite colour. The funeral notice or invitation may state that the attendees are invited to wear the colour that the deceased was associated with. If they don’t have an item of clothing in the right colour they can wear a ribbon pinned to their chest of the special colour.
Conclusion
Funeral rituals play a crucial role in the grieving process. They offer comfort, structure, and a sense of community during a profoundly challenging time. These rituals, personalised to reflect the unique life of the departed, provide an opportunity for loved ones to honour, remember, and say goodbye in meaningful ways.
By participating in these ceremonies, we not only pay respect to those we have lost but also support one another in navigating the complex emotions of loss. Ultimately, funeral rituals help us to process grief, celebrate life, and find a path toward healing and closure.
Wordways Ceremonies offers a variety of non-religious ceremonies, including celebration of life, funerals and ash scattering ceremonies. Get in touch with Vanessa today to discuss your needs.